This time the instructions for Vanessa Marin and I were to write a summary of the story “Dreams of freedom” written by Dana Isabel Castillo Laso, an Icesi’s foreing languages student. Here are the results:
“Dreams of freedom” written by Dana Isabel Castillo Laso, tells the story of a Jewish young girl named Emma during the begining of the world war II in Munich, Germany. One day, Emma went out of her house to go to school. Suddenly, she got captured by German policemen, who took her to Dachau concentration camp. There, lonely and sad, she reconforted herself with her favorite photo album, which was really important to her. Days passed by and while she was in the concentration camp she met Annette, who became her best friend; and Oswald, a German policeman who fell in love with her. The three of them planned to scape and then, when they tried it, Emma forgot her photo album. When she was looking for it, she was surprised by a German policeman, who took her to the general. After that, the general decided to execute and lead her to an inevitable destiny.
If you could please give us feedback to improve our writing skill, we’d appreaciate it a lot!
Take care and drink water~ Bye, bye!
Axl's blog 
I think you answered the q’s (who,what,when,where,why) without extending on the details and that is exactly we must do when writing a Summary from a literary text. However, I think you used many linking words and kind of cut some sentences right away and that made the reading flow of your text very structured and stiff. But that’s okay! It might be your writing style. However, I would encourage you to explore the different writing styles and think about the person who’s gonna read your text. Overall, you did such a good job!
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I consider your summary as a good one because you were concise, clear and coherent with the text. Besides, you used good transitions, so your text was very cohesive. I just saw two mistakes: when you wrote “written by Danna Castillo”, you should’ve put a comma before because that’s just extra information. The other one is when you said “she got captured by German policemen, which took her to Dachau concentration camp”, the relative pronoun ‘which’ was used incorrectly because you are referring to the German policemen, so you should’ve used ‘who’ or at least ‘that’.
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