“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems”

– Epictetus.

Hi! I hope you all are doing fine!

My name’s Axel, I’m an 18 year old young artist who is still trying to improve his skills as a singer and as a writer. I was born on December, 30th 2001 in Cali, Valle del Cauca. After my birth, my parents decided to move to Cartago, Valle del Cauca, so they could find a job eassily and start a new life there. When I was 8 years old, I told my parents I wanted a little brother, so they planned it and then my brother Joshua came to life on June 1st, 2009. Joshua is the smartest little kid I could ever met. I do not even know how, but he can understand English as if it were his native language. I consider we are not only a happy family but also a team, because we fight for our goals and we always help one another.

I’m such a dreamy boy. When I was a kid, I had this weird desire to be kidnapped by aliens, so they could give me extraordinary powers, which would help me stop famines and violence around the world. Yes, I know, it’s kinda funny and crazy. At the moment, I dream of being a great and well known artist. I would love to sing to lots of people on a big stage, I want to feel the adrenaline, emotion and conexion with everyone while sharing with them big parts of my heart and my soul through music.

I’m sure all of you know my name, my age, the things that I love and all that stuff. That’s why today I want to talk about all the things that are hidden inside my chest, things that maybe none of you know about. I want to do this because sometimes I feel like I’m choking on my own words and I don’t know who to talk to.

The person that you usually talk to at college during or outside classes, is a very different person when he’s alone at home or when he has plenty of free time on vacation. Maybe you don’t know, but sometimes I get lots of anxiety attacks and I just don’t know what to do to keep my mind quiet. When I get one of those attacks, I panicked and start breathing heavily without any control. Sometimes, I just want to sleep forever and never wake up. I also get a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Then I start crying for no reason. I don’t know what to do when those thoughts get inside my head, but please, if you see me like that one day, remember that everything I need is a bit of company and a warm hug.

I’ve been through a lot since 2015, maybe all those problems that I had are the reason why I’m an anxious and eassily depressive person. I will tell you all about my past in the next entries…

Hope you all have a wonderful year!
Take care and drink water! ❤